Personality: Destiny

Many of us believe we possess a destiny. Destiny suggests an important purpose to our lives. The belief in destiny helps provide a roadmap through the chaos and confusion of our daily living. It infuses meaning into our experiences as our life path discovers the twists and turns of existence.


However, there are destructive impulses within and outside that interfere with destiny. Excessive anger, sexual repression, depression, and addictions are but a few. They rob us of authentic purpose, detach us from others, obstruct pleasure and take away from meaning. We live for about 80 years, generally leave a legacy of offspring, and our influences live on. During our youth we enjoy the process of growing up and during adulthood we find satisfaction in growing wisdom. Destructive habits and behaviors shorten our ability to achieve and enjoy our unique destinies

Personality: Sexual Repression

By their very nature psychological concepts are abstract and difficult to define and measure. In this like manner, sexual repression is vague and hard to quantify. In general though, sexual repression refers to the inability or prevention of sexual expression and behavior. Sexual energy, or libido, becomes stymied and the life giving drive is forced from mind and body. Instead of just going away, however, symptoms develop such as mental and physical tension, a general sense of frustration and an over-controlled personality.


Another outcome of sexual repression is sadism. People who suppress their libido tend to be critical people who use a great deal of sarcasm. They may take joy in the bad luck of people and do not rejoice in the success of others. They are often unwilling to share or reciprocate unless it is mandatory or expected of them. Spontaneity is lacking in their speech and their feelings are kept hidden. They are equally stingy with money and their emotions.

Personality: The Effects of Excessive Alcohol

It’s often said that a drunken person reveals their true character. Actually, the opposite is true. Personality is the central organizing quality of an individual. It provides the character and flavor to thoughts, emotions, and behavior. Whenever an individual becomes drunk the ability to organize is lost. Behavior and thoughts become loose, disheveled and primitive. The organizing quality of personality requires control and excessive alcohol reduces or eliminates self-control.


The question remains as to exactly what is revealed about a person when they are drunk, besides secrets and indiscretions. The answer may be found in the brain effect of prolonged alcohol ingestion. Chronic alcohol abuse changes the chemistry of the brain. Since the brain functions primarily as a bio-electric-chemical system any change to the structure alters our minds. Dark, inexplicable moods occur from alcohol abuse and shame replaces pride. There may be periods of black outs and individuals create false stories of their behavior during these lost times. Prolonged alcohol abuse produces destructive changes and covers up the true personality. If a person is motivated to stop drinking and finds the necessary help, there is some hope. After 48 hours without alcohol the acute poisoning of the brain is relieved. After 30-60 days without alcohol the brain starts to function close to normal, and after 1-3 years most of the brain functions and normal personality are restored.

Personality: The Narcissist and the Pain of Competition

Of course, few of us ever wish to lose at competitive events.  Loss of a contest understandably results in disappointment and dejected feelings.  After a brief while most people will move on to other activities and place the loss into the back of their minds.  As successful athletes say “You need to have a short memory”.

For the narcissist competitive losses are a different matter.  Remember, lurking beneath the mental surface of the narcissist is fear of an unspecified flaw.  The inner haunting about a vague personal defect that others might discover yields a wide array of self-centered behavior designed as a cover up.

Part of the cover up after a loss is deflection of blame.  The narcissist can rarely admit personal faults.  Instead losses are attributed to luck rather than skill of the opponent, or cheating, or illness or other external events.  For the excessively self-centered individual losses occur only because of uncontrollable actions located outside of them.   To think otherwise would be an admission of an intolerable shortcoming.  For the narcissist this would result in a festering mental wound with lasting pain.

Personality: Happiness

Western society links happiness with physical pleasures or material attainment, especially wealth. In reality though, happiness is a state of mind based on beliefs, values and achievement. While owning sufficient possessions for comfort may be part of a happy life, there are other ingredients as well. At the very least please consider family, friendship, knowledge, values, and health as key components of a happy life.


Psychologists have long studied people who have reached high levels of personal attainment. Inside these peak experience achievers it has been noticed they also possess high levels of contentment, love, self-satisfaction and happiness. Happy people have a mental version of an ideal self that includes virtue. They strive constantly to reach the best level of their life, always considering the balance between their own needs and empathy towards others. Their achievements are rarely selfish, but rather provide benefits that include others. A realistic and proud caring self along with a striving for betterment seems to bring happiness.

The Wounded Narcissist

Within most of our souls lurks a self-centered nature. If kept in balance it serves our interests, protects us from harm and guides us toward satisfaction. Combined with a genuine empathy for others, the self focus can be healthy.


When it gets out of line and behavior become overtly selfish, with an enhanced sense of entitlement, we have narcissism. Narcissism is a serious personality problem. A clue to whether self interest is going to far may be our reaction to disappointment, criticism or insults. For the narcissist, any form of criticism, open or implied, becomes a wound. The emotional wound festers and never seems to heal. The only solution is more conceit and false superiority in vain attempts to appear faultless. Examine your response to disappointment. Are you too angry? Are you having problems letting go of the hurt? Is it healthy to feel so wounded for so long? Is it worth it?

The Shy Personality

A tendency toward solitary life coupled with reluctance to speak usually indicates shyness. Persons with shyness feel insecure about their relationships and may be sensitive to the remarks of others. They feel others will find fault with their ideas and judge them unfavorably.

In fact shyness may be described as a fear of self expression. Within the psyche of the shy person lurks an interpersonal inadequacy that borders on social phobia. The shy person sees almost everyone as painfully judgmental about anything verbally expressed. As a result it’s better to keep things inside, away from the punishing judgments of “the other”.

The strength of shyness comes from the inner center where ideas and concepts are fundamentally personal and expressed internally. Shy people possess analytical ability and migrate toward jobs and situations that require plodding productivity but little social interaction. Shyness can be overcome through gentle therapy that leads toward a realization that a shy, fragile person is fundamentally no different than others

Personality Therapy

Given that problems with personality express themselves primarily through difficult personal relationships, it’s not uncommon for persons with personality disorders to seek help about relationships. Usually these relationship problems, like the personality itself, are long standing in nature. We could argue the personality functions something like the guardian of the psyche and aggressively counters any outside actions that attempt forced change. Psychotherapy then requires time and optimism.


The lifetime nature of personality requires motivation on the part of a patient to alter because of growing unhappiness. Change comes to personality malfunctions slowly and in small chunks. If therapy proceeds too quickly in an attempt to bring fast results the patient will usually become dissatisfied and quit. Gradual, structured therapies aimed on improving relationships tend to work better than therapies designed specifically to alter a lifetime personality. Most people appreciate harmony in their close partnerships and positive improvements to quality of life can bring positive changes to maladaptive personality traits.

The Hostile Personality

Bitter complaining marks the hostile personality.  This is particulalry true when it comes to people in authority.  The hostile personality seems to possess a deadly envy against anyone with real or perceived pwer over them.  In general these brooding people display a pervasive unfriendliness.  Hostile people are likely to quickly censor others for their behaviors or opinions.  Most likely they will cite continuous dangers and fears in their conversation with an invective that is over the top.  They may be particularly bitter about politicians and express extreme opinions, pessimistic forecasts and unrealistic solutions.  Deep underlying envy drives them towards constantly expressing and plotting malevolence.

The Likeable Personality

“Authentic” describes best the likeable personality. “Empathetic” is the second quality. When these two traits co-exist, we have a genuine person with a sincere interest in other people.. This is a likeable person.


The likeable personality looks for the strengths and achievements in others. She stays away from criticism and makes only careful compliments. These compliments tend to be specific and spontaneous. It’s part of the ease exhibited by likeable people as they move about socially.

Balance in life is reflects a healthy personality. Likeable personalities tend to balance personal interests while showing curiosity about the life of the other. Their sincerity is matched by a desire to have fun. Enjoying life and enjoying others makes for a sought after fond person.

Shahzad the Times Square Bomber

Can we use profiling to understand the Times Square Bomber? Let’s ask a few questions. Is he independent rather than dependent? … Yes. Is he dominant rather than compliant?…Tough to answer, probably both. Was he under recent stress before the incident?…Yes




Shahzad, the Times Square Bomber, is the son of a senior Pakistani military officer. He’s married with two children, and recently lost his home in foreclosure. There are reports of marital separation, but this has not been confirmed. People who know him say that he’s reserved, unremarkable, professional, and likes to be alone. He prefers darkness to light. At times his reserve nature gives way to strong, unsolicited opinions bordering on invective.



His psychological profile may reveal anti-social features balanced by anxiety and conscience. Expect him to be forthcoming with law enforcement and he will supply valuable information about his trainers. Remember, for a man who went through explosive training, this car bomb proved crude and ineffective. He’s most likely conflicted, not a complete terrorist, and still has artifacts of rational thinking as a result of his upbringing. He may have unconsciously built an ineffective bomb. This would be symbolic of his sociopathic tendencies provoked by stress/anger and an underlying sense of right versus wrong.

Body Language-Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Some people just can’t get close. They stand off, keep their distance, and make it clear they need room. The ever arrogant narcissist maintains this space. They are not ones for slapping others on the back or giving hugs. Rather, haughtiness and a sense of superiority define their body language.


An underlying fear that others might discern their flaws drives another aspect of their body language. The pathological worry about personal defects makes appearance an utmost concern of narcissists. Clothing, hair style and accessories are the latest styles along with high status designer labels. They tend to associate with physically attractive people as it would be beneath them to do otherwise. Their body language and appearance all serve the overarching need to be special and superior, free from mistakes or fault.

Whenever this veneer of superiority is pricked by criticism or failure a rapid change in body language becomes evident. Downcast dejection, followed by anger, then by flight are the common response patterns by narcissists to even the mildest disapprovals. Since these people require constant admiration, they tend to be either alone or surrounded by sycophants who feed or exploit their self centered needs

Profiling the Don Juan Syndrome

Let’s remember that personality disorders represent a set of conditions that interfere with normal interpersonal relationships. In the long run, the constellation of traits that compose the disordered personality will undermine long term intimacy or friendships. Thus the relationships of those with personality disorders are usually shallow, detached or brief.


This characterizes the type of narcissistic personality disorder called the “Don Juan” syndrome. Persons with this form of exaggerated self importance use sex to manipulate and gain emotional pleasure. The narcissist does not care about the feelings or satisfactions of other people, but rather views them as animate tools for their own ego enhancement. Sex becomes a ongoing means to this grandiose, self centered goal. While the Don Juan, whether male or female, may appear attractive and desirable, they do not seek true intimate relationships. Rather they require continued sexual conquests in order to feed an insatiable need for superiority or perfection.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Based on Greek myth we would believe a narcissist is someone who thinks the world is a mirror that reflects only his or her image.  However, down deep within the narcissist is self-loathing.  These troublesome people, with an excessively inflated self image in public, seem to care only about themselves.  They are selfishly manipulative in their relationships, somewhat shallow, and lack sincere care for others.  They have a great sense of entitlement and expect special favorable treatment in line with their grandiose posture.  Fighting an inner sense of insignificance, many narcissists try to make up for this with various grandiose roles.. In these character models they often try to cast themselves as rescuing others or saving the world. 

Living with a narcissist can be very difficult.  They are given to wide mood swings, intense anger, even violence.  It's been said that a narcissist only loves themself, not others.  Underneath, though, it's doubtful they even love themselves.

Personality Traits and Reille Hunter

Personality Profiles and Rielle Hunter.




How can we figure out people who puzzle us for various reasons? We can start by identifying just two traits of independence and dominance. Personality traits are those behaviors that remain consistent over time and situations. If a person is dominant and independent, usually it’s an aggressive individual. We might witness self-centered behavior, attempts at manipulation of others, and a disregard about harming others. At the other end, when the person is passive and dependent, we might see more loneliness and clinging behavior. They might be afraid to offend, blame themselves and express their anger through indirect means. Knowing how a person fits on along the spectrum of these two traits can help us define an individual.

With these two measures much can be learned about someone, even if they are not an immediate acquaintance.  Let’s take Rielle Hunter, the former lover of John Edwards, for example. Does she display characteristics of dominance and independence? If so, are her behaviors consistent with helping others or are they self-focused? Is she sharing, forgiving or vengeful?  Have her behaviors been of help to the world or has she hurt others?  Does she share many characteristics with John Edwards and did this lead to their breakup?

 Knowing the two simple features of dominance and independence helps generate many questions that give us a glimpse into the personalities of others. It can be amusing and it can also help protect ourselves when we deal with life's many difficult people

Pesonality Disorders- Psych Profiling

Let's face it.  Psychological profiling is rarely done when we're satisfied with people in our lives.  It's usually called upon to answer questions about persons when they present  dilemmas.  The individual we seek to understand has enduring characteristics that cause themself or others continuous problems.  These long lasting maladaptive traits run in constellations and usually have their own distinct flavor.  Part of profiling is understanding these features and during the following days we will examine many of the concepts we call "Personality Disorders".

Five Factor Theory of Personality

Today there is general agreement among psychologists that 5 broad factors define most people along their dimensions.  These factors are neuroticism,, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness.  There are many and complicated paths by which these personality components interact.  If we combine these with the personality types and the personality disorders we will be mentioning in future posts,  then the groundwork for profiling is solid.

Body Language-Lying- Eye Contact

Much has been written about eye contact and lying, but be careful.  It is thought by some that right handed persons darting their eyes to the left (vice vresa for left handed) suggest lying or avoidance of truth.  However, it might also indicate a simple distraction.  Others believe that avoiding direct eye contact hints at lying, but imight also signal compliance or submission.  In general eyes shifting rapidly back and forth sideways is a clue to lying.  However, focus on the circumstances of the conversation as the context may affect eye movements rather than lying.  As always, lying is a complex human behavior and eye movements are only a clue, not an absolute determinant.

Is Someone Lying? Body Language 1

There are many clues from body language that indicate that someone may be lying.  One of the most common signs is "shrinking" or "withdrawal."  Persons who are parsing words or fabricating the truth tend to pull back in their body language.  They want to make themselves smaller by hunching their shoulders or moving their head low, crossing their arms.  If this shrinking is acompanied by other signs of distress or worry, then it may be a clue to be careful with this person.  Think twice before trusting their words.

Here's a youtube video on body language and lying:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXRQyJbMhkA&feature=fvst

A Brief History of Profiling

Formal psychological profiling began during WWI.  The military required a rapid and brief system to determine which candidates were psychologically unfit for service. As a result, questionnaires were developed to help weed out those with mental health issues.  Thereafter profiling moved formally to medical evaluations, then to school based educational evaluations, and finally to industry for personnel purposes,   As it has grown throughout the mental health industry, lessons there have found their way to forensic evaluations. Here the goal is understanding and identifying criminals.

Sources of Information-Social Networking Sites

Profilers obtain information about individuals from many sources.  A rich vein of data can be mined from social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook.  Here individuals reveal much about their inner lives.  They discuss interests, ambitions, romance, hobbies, pleasure seeking and other private maters.  For the profiler, this information isexamined in detail without the need to meet the person under examination.  Social networking sites play important roles if the candidate is suspected of deception.  The ability to compare and contrast the information expressed online with information expressed face to face is of substantial value.

Psychological Profiling

We all have enduring qualities, traits and behaviors that reveal much about ourselves. In fact it is nearly impossible to conceal our real selves, but rather we show our inner cards constantly by our habitual actions and words. In this blog we will explore the uses, techniques and advantages of discovering these qualities in ourselves and others. Profiling can used for personal exploration or to discover more about friends, spouses, lovers, employees, bosses, or just about anyone. It's not necessary for everyone who profiles to be a psychologist, just be a good observer of human behavior. Good luck; your thoughts and questions are welcome.