Personality Therapy

Given that problems with personality express themselves primarily through difficult personal relationships, it’s not uncommon for persons with personality disorders to seek help about relationships. Usually these relationship problems, like the personality itself, are long standing in nature. We could argue the personality functions something like the guardian of the psyche and aggressively counters any outside actions that attempt forced change. Psychotherapy then requires time and optimism.


The lifetime nature of personality requires motivation on the part of a patient to alter because of growing unhappiness. Change comes to personality malfunctions slowly and in small chunks. If therapy proceeds too quickly in an attempt to bring fast results the patient will usually become dissatisfied and quit. Gradual, structured therapies aimed on improving relationships tend to work better than therapies designed specifically to alter a lifetime personality. Most people appreciate harmony in their close partnerships and positive improvements to quality of life can bring positive changes to maladaptive personality traits.

The Hostile Personality

Bitter complaining marks the hostile personality.  This is particulalry true when it comes to people in authority.  The hostile personality seems to possess a deadly envy against anyone with real or perceived pwer over them.  In general these brooding people display a pervasive unfriendliness.  Hostile people are likely to quickly censor others for their behaviors or opinions.  Most likely they will cite continuous dangers and fears in their conversation with an invective that is over the top.  They may be particularly bitter about politicians and express extreme opinions, pessimistic forecasts and unrealistic solutions.  Deep underlying envy drives them towards constantly expressing and plotting malevolence.

The Likeable Personality

“Authentic” describes best the likeable personality. “Empathetic” is the second quality. When these two traits co-exist, we have a genuine person with a sincere interest in other people.. This is a likeable person.


The likeable personality looks for the strengths and achievements in others. She stays away from criticism and makes only careful compliments. These compliments tend to be specific and spontaneous. It’s part of the ease exhibited by likeable people as they move about socially.

Balance in life is reflects a healthy personality. Likeable personalities tend to balance personal interests while showing curiosity about the life of the other. Their sincerity is matched by a desire to have fun. Enjoying life and enjoying others makes for a sought after fond person.

Shahzad the Times Square Bomber

Can we use profiling to understand the Times Square Bomber? Let’s ask a few questions. Is he independent rather than dependent? … Yes. Is he dominant rather than compliant?…Tough to answer, probably both. Was he under recent stress before the incident?…Yes




Shahzad, the Times Square Bomber, is the son of a senior Pakistani military officer. He’s married with two children, and recently lost his home in foreclosure. There are reports of marital separation, but this has not been confirmed. People who know him say that he’s reserved, unremarkable, professional, and likes to be alone. He prefers darkness to light. At times his reserve nature gives way to strong, unsolicited opinions bordering on invective.



His psychological profile may reveal anti-social features balanced by anxiety and conscience. Expect him to be forthcoming with law enforcement and he will supply valuable information about his trainers. Remember, for a man who went through explosive training, this car bomb proved crude and ineffective. He’s most likely conflicted, not a complete terrorist, and still has artifacts of rational thinking as a result of his upbringing. He may have unconsciously built an ineffective bomb. This would be symbolic of his sociopathic tendencies provoked by stress/anger and an underlying sense of right versus wrong.

Body Language-Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Some people just can’t get close. They stand off, keep their distance, and make it clear they need room. The ever arrogant narcissist maintains this space. They are not ones for slapping others on the back or giving hugs. Rather, haughtiness and a sense of superiority define their body language.


An underlying fear that others might discern their flaws drives another aspect of their body language. The pathological worry about personal defects makes appearance an utmost concern of narcissists. Clothing, hair style and accessories are the latest styles along with high status designer labels. They tend to associate with physically attractive people as it would be beneath them to do otherwise. Their body language and appearance all serve the overarching need to be special and superior, free from mistakes or fault.

Whenever this veneer of superiority is pricked by criticism or failure a rapid change in body language becomes evident. Downcast dejection, followed by anger, then by flight are the common response patterns by narcissists to even the mildest disapprovals. Since these people require constant admiration, they tend to be either alone or surrounded by sycophants who feed or exploit their self centered needs

Profiling the Don Juan Syndrome

Let’s remember that personality disorders represent a set of conditions that interfere with normal interpersonal relationships. In the long run, the constellation of traits that compose the disordered personality will undermine long term intimacy or friendships. Thus the relationships of those with personality disorders are usually shallow, detached or brief.


This characterizes the type of narcissistic personality disorder called the “Don Juan” syndrome. Persons with this form of exaggerated self importance use sex to manipulate and gain emotional pleasure. The narcissist does not care about the feelings or satisfactions of other people, but rather views them as animate tools for their own ego enhancement. Sex becomes a ongoing means to this grandiose, self centered goal. While the Don Juan, whether male or female, may appear attractive and desirable, they do not seek true intimate relationships. Rather they require continued sexual conquests in order to feed an insatiable need for superiority or perfection.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Based on Greek myth we would believe a narcissist is someone who thinks the world is a mirror that reflects only his or her image.  However, down deep within the narcissist is self-loathing.  These troublesome people, with an excessively inflated self image in public, seem to care only about themselves.  They are selfishly manipulative in their relationships, somewhat shallow, and lack sincere care for others.  They have a great sense of entitlement and expect special favorable treatment in line with their grandiose posture.  Fighting an inner sense of insignificance, many narcissists try to make up for this with various grandiose roles.. In these character models they often try to cast themselves as rescuing others or saving the world. 

Living with a narcissist can be very difficult.  They are given to wide mood swings, intense anger, even violence.  It's been said that a narcissist only loves themself, not others.  Underneath, though, it's doubtful they even love themselves.